november goals

1. Eat vegetables, 4-5 servings a day (fruit comes easily to me).
2. Read (from a book).
3. Do something creative.
4. Read a research article.
5. Print pictures.
6. Get to routinely exercising three times a week.
7. Start getting projects settled.
8. Try beer at Map Room. 

I am working on a variety of projects his month and this year in general involving pediatrics, surgery, and other general medicine-related interests. I've been working a lot on testing out what works and what doesn't for me when trying to get things done. Goals are helpful, especially for longevity and consistency, when it's easy to forget what the long-term benefits to monotonous daily tasks are. Hummus is helpful for eating vegetables. Coffee is helpful. Inspiration is helpful, which I get from listening to music, talking to people, and reading.

#1-3 are things I want to do every day. Hummus has been helpful for #1. #4 and #6 is something I'm trying to do nearly every day. And #8 is something I'm going to avoid doing every day.

personality test

Don't laugh. Yesterday, I took this Myers-Briggs personality test. And following a hunch, I made my brother take it. During October, it was one of my goals to engage better with the people around me. I found the difficulty to be nice to my brother rather alarming and throughout the past few weeks, I began to wonder whether there was a reason that I could absolutely not understand most of his motives and general way of going about life. It turns out that our personality types were quite the polar opposite.

I found out that my "personality type" is ENTJ- Extraverted, Intuition, Thinking, Judging. It's kind of interesting, and I will admit, oddly accurate.

According to the ENTJ Wikipedia Page:
"ENTJs focus on the most efficient and organized means of performing a task. This quality, along with their goal orientation, often makes ENTJs superior leaders, both realistic and visionary in implementing a long-term plan. ENTJs tend to be fiercely independent in their decision making, having a strong will that insulates them against external influence. Generally highly competent, ENTJs analyze and structure the world around them in a logical and rational way. Due to this straightforward way of thinking, ENTJs tend to have the greatest difficulty of all the types in applying subjective considerations and emotional values into the decision-making process."

My brother, on the other hand, was an ISTP Personality Type. For now, I'm just going to put it out there and think about the ramifications and ways that our personalities can be used to our advantages to achieve or connect/work with others.

famous before she was notorious

I recently realized that I don't spend enough time thinking about important things. Not things that involve school, science, work, what I'm going to eat for dinner, am I drinking enough water, how angry would my mom be if I got a cat, how much angrier my mom would be if I got a cat and then a tattoo, can I leave the country without my mom noticing, if I drink any more coffee than I am currently, will I explode, why did that group of guys tell me that I'm pretty and ask if I wanted to go smoke with them while I was waiting at the bus stop, etc.

But what about dreams? Somehow, the concept of dreaming has become so associated with being spacey and flaky, even cliche (Dream Big, blah, blah), but I'm beginning to wonder about the power of just big, insane ideas and really working them feasibly into my life. After all, insanity is a purely theoretical concept, I think. There was a point this summer when I was thinking of new ideas on a daily and weekly basis; I was surrounded by good-intentioned naysayers, but at the end of the day, those people wondering why you would want to do something or, more terrifying, telling you that you shouldn't will fade into the background and you remember. You remember yourself, somehow.

One of my favorite summer memories is from a concert when Glen Hasard of The Swell Season was talking about insane dreams and he dedicated the next song to the insane dreamers of the world. My friend Cherita looked at me and smiled. And one of my favorite quotes came from a book I read this summer, Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder regarding the project to bring healthcare to Haiti, "They think we're unrealistic. They don't know we're crazy."

My main goal for the last few weeks of November is to give myself time to come up with big ideas. I just wanted to share this picture that I took last year in Taiwan. I love how the body of the fish curls. And the picture reminds me of beautiful memories abroad and that I need to begin planning more!

What Worked in October

I dropped the ball on my November goals. As in, I didn't come up with any. I just didn't. October was good. I didn't accomplish all my goals, and in fact, I don't know that I accomplished most of them specifically, and I'm okay with that. Three awesome things happened in October:

1. I found a routine that will work for me. In this way, I could balance two jobs, studying, working out, and friends. I can make the routine even better so that I am studying more these next two months, and that will be the plan for November. Also, I think I need to find some alone time. I was talking with one of my co-workers in the kitchen who was upset that he didn't have enough time to himself- only 5 hours. Although I'm surprised that he needs five hours to himself, it made me realize that it probably is important to make time for such things as... yourself.

2. I can't really remember the second awesome thing, which is somewhat horrifying.

3. I quit men. Casual dating is fun, but also makes you a little crazier (and pressed for time) than you really need to be. I also considered going on a coffee sabbatical, but really, how many things that you love can you just give up like that?

So now, What Worked in October. In general, I do think that my goal to engage with my surroundings was successful. My goals were to:

1. Enjoy Chicago. I actually could not find events at the Pritzker Pavillion, which was weird. But I definitely could have gone to the Chicago Cultural Center, which I did not do. I enjoyed Chicago in other ways (i.e., bars and clubs haha); unfortunately (or fortunately), I have never been good at being a tourist.

2. Fall traditions. I made pumpkin pie, went apple picking, watched football at sports bars, and drank a lot of coffee. Although coffee is more of an all-seasonal/life tradition, it counts. I still have to make apple pie with the apples that are now probably rotten at this point. And I have more pumpkins that need to be made into more pumpkin pie.

3. Focus on friends (and brother). I'm happy with this. I got to see some of my friends that don't live in Chicago and I've really been staying connected on the phone. Making new friends, blah blah, etc.

4. Disconnect with the computer and phone. I did okay at this. I really was able to step away from Facebook, which was my main goal. I talked about how technology is problematic in some ways, but I do also think that there is a lot of inspiration out there and I'm not opposed to that.

5. Sign up for classes I have been thinking about. Executive life decision that I should not be signing up for more classes at the time being but come February, I will.

6. Work on a collaborative project. In the works, kind of.

7. Join an interest group. This didn't work out because on Thursday nights, I usually end up doing something else, which goes in direct conflict with the whole group thing. I may try again in November, but thus far, this Thursday and the one in the past are not working out for me.

8. Read in my spare time. Ok, but need to read more. I've been reading On the Road possibly for the entire month, I am not sure.

on technology

One of my goals for October is to remove myself a little from technology in order to connect more thoroughly with what is really going on around me. I'm going to go ahead and throw the collective "we" out there. We've become so disengaged from our surroundings. We listen to iPods when walking down the street instead of listening to the ebbs and flows of the traffic, conversations, and sounds. We are looking at our phones and texting other people when our friends we worked so hard to coordinate schedules with are sitting right in front of us. There are so many ways we've invented to dull our senses so that we forget to look up and see how beautiful the Chicago skyline looked tonight at 6:53 PM with the pink skyscrapers against the black night or how drenched our hair and sweatshirts are with that divine coffee scent.

Facebook is one of my primary concerns. I wrote an essay about this a year ago for an English class and I don't think anybody except my professor has read it due to the fact that I finished writing it, printed it, and had to run to turn it in on time. But I remember what I was feeling at the time and what has been nagging me the past year to bring me to the goals I've set for myself this October. I don't think it'd be an original thought to say that Facebook creates superficial friendships and that we are getting glimpses into people whom we may never think of again. Of course, people screen what they write on Facebook, put up things that allow them to create a certain image, yada yada. Nothing new. But what gets to me is the devaluing of friendship. We no longer decide which of our friends we want to tell about this or that. Instead, with one swift "status update," we have simultaneously informed everyone. Furthermore, it's the illusion that stronger bonds are being formed. I'm not against being delusional; in fact, we often need it to get through the day. But with technology, and Facebook specifically, our illusions of its power to make our friendships stronger negate any chance we have to fight the problem. To have a fighting chance, if you will. And you must ;)

This is not to say that there aren't benefits. There are two important ones that come to my mind. First: it is easier to stay in contact with friends. We can very easily and directly write on a friend's wall. In this sense, however, Facebook doesn't necessarily serve any function that an e-mail could not satisfy, besides the convenience of not having to remember an e-mail address. For the most part, however, remembering e-mail addresses has become obsolete thanks to drop down boxes that allow you to choose an e-mail by just typing in a person's name. Secondly, my assertion that people are inspiring holds true in that friends post inspiring thoughts, quotes, and pictures on Facebook all the time. And that's a good thing.

I want to be more careful about what I expose myself to online. It's analogous to raising a child. Although there are different parenting methods, one idea is that what that child is exposed to throughout life shapes his thoughts and behaviors. Same concept: when I allow myself to lazily browse Facebook, I am allowing myself to care about the petty, superficial, and in general, least attractive aspects of people rather than the the deep, insanely warm and incredibly stunning nuances that you can really only experience in person. There's a rich quality about those I love that I could only hope to catch a glimpse of based on their profiles. Because a profile is exactly that- a mere superficial overview of a person, whom, by optimistic standards, could not be captured and profiled.

So, I'm limiting my Facebook usage to keeping up with friends. I go on only when I am actively responding to a friend. Furthermore, I am having one day a week (Sundays) in which I do not turn on my computer at all. Thus far, I have to say that the day passes by slower, and presents more opportunity to be relished. I've also been turning my phone on silent for an hour each night. This is inconvenient because then I need to deal with the texts and calls afterward and it's usaully too late or too overwhelming. But I think the silence is worth it. More on that later.

What Worked in September

This is the last time I'm going to explicitly state it: I'm doing an awful job at blogging. Not only am I simply not finding the time in a day to blog, but I am blogging about cowls and jewelry? What? And I'm pretty sure I'm going to do it again about a different cowl and different jewelry? So it goes.

Here are the positive improvements I made in September:

-Used a Nalgene-esque water bottle. What are these things called? Anyway, re-usable. This was good because I could finally let go of the immense guilt that I felt from using plastic water bottles this summer. Haha, I felt it every day. Not only that, but there are little tick marks on the side so you can kind of keep track of how much water you drank. I say "you," because I didn't really count. Mine was more, did I finish all the water in the bottle or not? But I've gotten to the point that I can now drink two, easily. And on days I forget it, I feel dehydrated. I've only used a plastic water bottle once, and on that day, I still felt thirsty.

-The morning routine of getting up to sit on the porch and relax as a way of beginning the day. It was still one of the best things I did, until I couldn't get up so early anymore. I will be going to sleep earlier in order to wake up earlier.

-I started actually getting pretty addicted to swimming and the awesome hot showers that I took at the gym. The water in my apartment doesn't get hot enough for my liking. And then I had a cyst excised from my face and couldn't get it (my face? the cyst's remnant scar?) wet for this week. Next week, starting back up!

-I'm starting to get a routine in order. I have to recognize that no, my life will never be as perfectly structured as I'd like (well, secretly, it's not so much that I'd like it as the fact that I may need it), but I do need to work hard to make every day as much of a day as possible. That may mean spending more time at home to get things done, but we'll see.

-When I had fun, I had fun. When I worked, I worked hard.

-I accomplished goal #4.

I did ok on my September goals. I'm going to say that I started on all of them, except maybe the healthy eating one. Not good, that one.

October Goals

My goal for October is to engage. To me, this means connecting with the people, community, and environment around me. October is a great month for getting out there because it's my favorite month- I love the weather and chill. It's a good time to enjoy the lovely city around me. Right now, I'm sick and have a huge band-aid on my face from a cyst removal, so it's not a good start, but you know! These things happen.

1. Enjoy Chicago. Specifically, I'm thinking about going to the Chicago Cultural Center and all the free music events that happen at the Pritzker Pavillion. Also, I need to continue my September goal of taking walks in different neighborhoods, which I did not do.

2. Do every fall tradition I can think of. Starting with today- I'm going apple picking for the first time. I'm also going to do pumpkins. And make apple- and pumpkin-related desserts. And hot chocolate and cider outside. And corn mazes.

3. Focus on friends. This is more for alliterative effect than anything... just kidding. I will try to plan things better with friends and write to my friends who are far, far away.

4. Disconnect the computer and phone. I'm going to have one day a week during which I don't turn on a computer at all. This is challenging because all my music is on it, but I think when I allow myself to be lazy and just turn on the computer, I read less, do other things less, and engage less. For the phone, I might need to have an hour a day during which I turn it to silent and don't worry about it at all. You know, for peace of mind and all.

5. Sign up for the classes I've been thinking about.

6. Work on a collaborative project or two.

7. Join an interest-group?

8. Read in my spare time. This is engaging in the world.

I think these goals are possibly manageable and will be challenging in a good way!

astronomy will have to be revised

Although September is mostly over, I have a few goals that I've been working on, will work on this week, and will continue to work on in October. I also have realized that I will need to begin working on my October goals, if I am to start them at the time I intend to start them. (Note: if you want to start doing something, you don't start planning on that day. Right.) The current plan is to have a large, overarching goal for the month that will most likely be more intrinsic and difficult to measure. Just writing that makes me laugh a little. I'll have more measurable goals to help me reach those goals and just because I'm neurotic (the extent to which is yet to be discerned), actual actions that I can take.

My goal for September is to revitalize/energize. Which to me, means to get it together. Which means to enable myself to begin living the way I want to. I say "enable" because I don't know that I can realistically start being this person I intend to be, but if I can focus on the things I love and conduct myself in non-lazy ways, I think that's a start and exactly what I need for September.

Steps:
1) Set up a routine- things to do every day. I recently read someone's Facebook status and I really liked it, "Every day, same place, same time. The catalyst for change." This is something I have a hard time with. I'm working two jobs, but one of them really allows me to define my own schedule and come in whenever I need to in order to finish what I'm doing. By nature, I don't crave consistence, but I feel that if I can be consistent, then not only will I be more stable emotionally, but I will also be able to open up my day to experience more.

2) Healthy eating- I am awful at this.

3) Exercise- Swim, bike, yoga, walk. My current exercises of choice.

4) Deal with past issues. Talk to the necessary people. More on this later.

5) Enjoy autumn and Chicago. This one is simple. This season and this city inspire me endlessly. I was talking about autumn with my friend Rob the other night, and he interpreted autumn nights as chilly and melancholic. And I realized that while this is true, it's exactly the reason I like it. (He was born in the late spring, so the first season he experienced was pleasant summer- can't deal with the melancholy! Ha, I have a lot of theories. I'm sure many will come to light soon enough) At the same time though, the reason that I yearn for that slightly tugging feeling that comes with the autumn evenings is the opportunity for the comfort that we can provide ourselves- the cozy of hot chocolate or tea, a blanket, and a good book. So maybe I'm not into the melancholy either (I may assert that I am, however), but interested in the reaction to it.

I will post more on the individual goals this week.