october 26/27

Most of the time, I'm pretty sure my mom is some sort of Asian, modern-day Jacqueline Kennedy. One thing: she doesn't photograph well. So I guess, in that sense, she isn't. Because Jackie has never taken a bad picture. (But anyway, it's just a matter of keeping your eyes open) In general, I would say that mother-daughter dynamics are interesting and my relationship with my mom has evolved significantly from when I was a kid. But since the time that I could make observations, I've believed that she is one of the most graceful, poised, intelligent, hard-working, and funniest people I know.

Plus, she has to put up with this goofball, who yesterday, on her birthday, asked her, "Where do you want to go eat dinner for your birthday tomorrow?"

Well. To be fair, they have to put up with each other. And "technically", her birthday is the 27th. I'm just going to leave that unexplained.

Pumpkin Pie

That Martha Stewart. She has yet to let me down. I made this pie with my friend Shannon on Saturday and after we were done, it was a little bit like, Really? That's it? Convinced we had done something wrong, we stuck the pie in the oven and I held my breath as we tried what I knew to be a doomed pie. Luckily, Shannon had made pies before and really believed in the pie the entire time. It. was. delicious. And so incredibly easy.

We didn't have time to make the crust by scratch. But I have quite a few pumpkins and I will definitely be trying a slightly altered version of this recipe. The recipe makes for quite a bit of "pie stuff" left over that would otherwise have overflowed the crust. We just baked the leftover in what is probably a 4-inch diameter Pyrex bowl, but it is probably enough to make another 6-inch pie.

Here's the recipe from Martha Stewart's website.

Ingredients- Makes one 9-inch pie

• 1 cup packed light-brown sugar
• 1 tablespoon cornstarch
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1 1/2 cups fresh Pumpkin Puree, or canned
• 3 large eggs, lightly beaten, plus 1 egg for glaze
• 1 1/2 cups evaporated milk
• Pate Brisee (Pie Dough)
• 1 tablespoon heavy cream

What you do:

1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper; set aside. In a large bowl, combine sugar, cornstarch, salt, ginger, cinnamon, cloves, pumpkin puree, and 3 eggs. Beat well. Add evaporated milk, and combine. Set aside.
2. Between two pieces of plastic wrap, roll pate brisee into a 12-inch circle. Fit pastry into a 9-inch glass pie plate; trim dough evenly along edge, leaving about a 1/2-inch overhang. Pinch to form a decorative edge. If the dough begins to soften, chill for 15 minutes.
3. Make the glaze: Beat the remaining egg, and combine with heavy cream. Brush glaze very lightly on edges of pie shell. Fill pie shell with pumpkin mixture. Transfer to prepared baking sheet.
4. Bake for 10 minutes. Reduce heat to 350 degrees and continue baking for 30 minutes more. Cool on a wire rack.

Enjoy! If anyone knows any good recipes for baked (roasted?) pumpkin seeds, please let me know. I love them.

storm within

In a few hours at 4 AM, there's supposed to be the worst storm that Chicago has seen in 70 years. I want to go out there and take some photographs tonight and tomorrow morning, but even more so, I want to be somewhat sane. So for now, I'll throw open the curtains and watch the skyline. Yeah, I'm a storm chaser. Now that I think about it, probably in more ways than one.

Pictures I found here and here and here.

i love you more than songs can say

1. I am in love with the perfect styling of the Russian Doll story in Rowan Magazine 48. I want to knit everything. My favorite is the jacket/poncho on the top left.


2.Knitting.

I finished weaving in all the ends of the sweater that I worked on in September. I like it, I think. I still have to add a button and possibly belt loops, if that's any indication of what kind of sweater it is. I'll be posting about it soon, hopefully before I take it out and make it into a blanket. I really hope I don't do that. But I might do that. I'm somewhat in need of starting a new project because I'm at a standstill with this other project I'm working on. Details/pictures coming this week.

3. Swimming.

I figured out that these past two days, swimming is the only thing keeping me in the game. "The game" being not spontaneously collapsing under the strain of my body that can no longer handle massive amounts of pumpkin pie and miscellaneous carbohydrates.

4. Rain at night. There is nothing sweeter.

5. Pumpkins. A rather delectable pumpkin pie recipe is forthcoming.


6. Fishtail Braid.

If I finish showering and don't have enough time to dry my hair completely, I usually pull it back into a French braid because it's less abrasive-seeming than a ponytail. I haven't always been able to French braid my own hair, although I have pretty much always been able to French braid someone else's. I JUST learned how to do this braid and I'm not good yet, but I love it oh so much.

7. Friends and moments. This is one of mine, and a good reminder to have the camera around.


8. Omanhene Dark Chocolate (80% Cocoa Content).


9. Jack Kerouac: "The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars."

10. Laughing with my brother. It's refreshing after nothing but yelling this morning.

[Images 2, 3, 6 found on weheartit.com; 1 is from knitrowan.com, others are my own]

but these are hollow phrases

From L'Officiel Russia
October 2010

on technology

One of my goals for October is to remove myself a little from technology in order to connect more thoroughly with what is really going on around me. I'm going to go ahead and throw the collective "we" out there. We've become so disengaged from our surroundings. We listen to iPods when walking down the street instead of listening to the ebbs and flows of the traffic, conversations, and sounds. We are looking at our phones and texting other people when our friends we worked so hard to coordinate schedules with are sitting right in front of us. There are so many ways we've invented to dull our senses so that we forget to look up and see how beautiful the Chicago skyline looked tonight at 6:53 PM with the pink skyscrapers against the black night or how drenched our hair and sweatshirts are with that divine coffee scent.

Facebook is one of my primary concerns. I wrote an essay about this a year ago for an English class and I don't think anybody except my professor has read it due to the fact that I finished writing it, printed it, and had to run to turn it in on time. But I remember what I was feeling at the time and what has been nagging me the past year to bring me to the goals I've set for myself this October. I don't think it'd be an original thought to say that Facebook creates superficial friendships and that we are getting glimpses into people whom we may never think of again. Of course, people screen what they write on Facebook, put up things that allow them to create a certain image, yada yada. Nothing new. But what gets to me is the devaluing of friendship. We no longer decide which of our friends we want to tell about this or that. Instead, with one swift "status update," we have simultaneously informed everyone. Furthermore, it's the illusion that stronger bonds are being formed. I'm not against being delusional; in fact, we often need it to get through the day. But with technology, and Facebook specifically, our illusions of its power to make our friendships stronger negate any chance we have to fight the problem. To have a fighting chance, if you will. And you must ;)

This is not to say that there aren't benefits. There are two important ones that come to my mind. First: it is easier to stay in contact with friends. We can very easily and directly write on a friend's wall. In this sense, however, Facebook doesn't necessarily serve any function that an e-mail could not satisfy, besides the convenience of not having to remember an e-mail address. For the most part, however, remembering e-mail addresses has become obsolete thanks to drop down boxes that allow you to choose an e-mail by just typing in a person's name. Secondly, my assertion that people are inspiring holds true in that friends post inspiring thoughts, quotes, and pictures on Facebook all the time. And that's a good thing.

I want to be more careful about what I expose myself to online. It's analogous to raising a child. Although there are different parenting methods, one idea is that what that child is exposed to throughout life shapes his thoughts and behaviors. Same concept: when I allow myself to lazily browse Facebook, I am allowing myself to care about the petty, superficial, and in general, least attractive aspects of people rather than the the deep, insanely warm and incredibly stunning nuances that you can really only experience in person. There's a rich quality about those I love that I could only hope to catch a glimpse of based on their profiles. Because a profile is exactly that- a mere superficial overview of a person, whom, by optimistic standards, could not be captured and profiled.

So, I'm limiting my Facebook usage to keeping up with friends. I go on only when I am actively responding to a friend. Furthermore, I am having one day a week (Sundays) in which I do not turn on my computer at all. Thus far, I have to say that the day passes by slower, and presents more opportunity to be relished. I've also been turning my phone on silent for an hour each night. This is inconvenient because then I need to deal with the texts and calls afterward and it's usaully too late or too overwhelming. But I think the silence is worth it. More on that later.

How to Deal with Fleas

We have fleas. Theories of their entry into our home (I always have theories):

1) New plants (although we've had them for at least 3-4 weeks, I'd say).

2) Lodged in a tuft of my brother's (also my roommate) hair and carried in against their wills whereupon they could do nothing else but breed.

3) Small hole in the screen of my "balcony."

4) The development of super flying abilities and supreme psychic powers to discern that our apartment would be the perfect home.

I have disqualified all these theories due to their outlandish natures, particularly that one about the plants.

Actions taken (I always take action):
1) Spend 20 minutes while getting ready today taking a catalog and physically smashing as many as possible against the bathroom mirror, which is where they like to land. Killed: 10

2) Own a pet spider. Killed: 0

3) Forget to drink second cup of tea in the morning and come home at night to drink it. After several sips, see two dead fleas. Killed: 2

Although I am by default a proactive person, I have only partaken in two of the aforementioned plans of action, and only one on purpose.

Steps on the Road to Recovery:
1) Anger: See Actions Taken Step #1.
2) Confusion: See Theories #1-4
3) Lament: See blog post and Gchat with a friend.
4) Panic and wonder why life has begun to rapidly fall apart before my eyes (See Actions Taken #3)
5) Realization: make the very obvious observation that there are many worse things that could be happening.
6) Write blog post.

the moon like a spotlight on the lake

This morning was exactly what the title of this blog is all about. You see, I have a view of our beautiful skyline. Almost. There is a large tree obstructing it. But since the leaves have been falling, the view through my see-through curtains becomes less and less obstructed each day. A good question is why my curtains are white and see-through- I took down the outer dark, drab curtains that actually serve to curtainize my windows and have yet to put up real ones that function. Which I'm starting to think should be done soon because I have this theory that my room is so cold because it's coming in through the windows.

This is not my view, seeing as I do not live in a CTA Blue Line stop (and for that I am thankful), but it's a picture I took last fall (apparently September 13).

Not only for the almost-view, but it is one of those mornings in which the sun is attempting to break through the clouds but not being so successful. I find it perfect. And furthermore, waking up to e-mails about the fun plans in the works for tonight and an e-mail entitled "Bella!" ("Beautiful")

And also knitting for half an hour to this song on repeat:

But mostly, waking up to friends asking whether a goatee should be grown out or shaved and about second dates being bad in bed. Right, because of my excessive knowledge of facial hair, I am the person to ask about that; or maybe the question was posed due to my friend's knowledge of my extremely strong opinions on facial hair. And then I get a text that will throw a wrench into the kid's party I'm running this weekend and it's back to reality and off to work. One October morning.

Jacques Torres's Secret Chocolate Chip Cookies

I made these last week and I'm going to say it straight: I forgot the salt. Secondly, I didn't have any cookie pans so I put them in the oven in Pyrex containers and as a result, could only bake like 7 at a time. I got this recipe from Martha Stewart's website and it's way too huge. I still have some cookie dough in the fridge to bake. I think I'd be willing to make them again because my thought is that they would taste really perfect with the salt. This time, though, I would halve the recipe. There ain't nobody that needs that many cookies.

Recipe:

1 pound unsalted butter

1 3/4 cups granulated sugar

2 1/4 cups packed light-brown sugar

4 large eggs

3 cups plus 2 tablespoons pastry flour

3 cups bread flour

1 tablespoon salt

2 teaspoons baking powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract

2 pounds Jacques Torres House (60 percent cocoa) Chocolate or other best-quality semisweet or bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped

What you do:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line baking sheets with parchment paper or nonstick baking mats; set aside.
2. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream together butter and sugars. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Reduce speed to low and add both flours, baking powder, baking soda, vanilla, and chocolate; mix until well combined.
3. Using a 4-ounce scoop for larger cookies or a 1-ounce scoop for smaller cookies, scoop cookie dough onto prepared baking sheets, about 2 inches apart. Bake until lightly browned, but still soft, about 20 minutes for larger cookies and about 15 minutes for smaller cookies. Cool slightly on baking sheets before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Makes 26 5-inch cookies, apparently. (I think it makes a lot more; plus 5 inches is pretty huge for a cookie)

This Halloween, I'm going to be Pocahontas.

image via gary pepper vintage

working hard

Lovely. Out of everything, people inspire me the most.

"I feel best when I'm trying hard and working, I always try hard." Yes. Today, I did very few things beyond the errands I'd been putting off and as it turns out, laziness/doing nothing (doing nothing is not always lazy; in fact, it often requires a very conscious effort for me) is not as satisfying as one may think. So tomorrow, back to attacking the day (i.e., squeezing every last bit out of the day). Because right now I'm listening to Rob talk to his cat.

I found this on his blog: "If you go home with someone, and they don’t have books, don’t fuck ‘em." -John Waters

Also, this. A reminder to be brave (and classy/brief).

rings.

To me, these images are so beautiful.

Stuffed Peppers

Great weekend. I think I'm beginning to master work hard, play hard. Saturday morning, instead of the usual puttering around until it's almost too late to leave the house and get to work on time, I stuffed some peppers, pictured above.

I don't have exact quantities of things I used. I think this is one of the first times that I decided to just throw things together. Usually, I don't have that kind of confidence in the kitchen, so if I'm making something, I like to know exact quantities. I also know that it makes it frustrating to read about, but it's also great because I think that the taste will be about the same and not taste awful if you aren't precise.

I used:

• Two poblano peppers
  
• Couscous (substitution for rice because I may have made way too much couscous at some point last week)
  
• Black beans from a 15 oz can (still have half the can leftover)
  
• Mozzarella Cheese
  
• Onions (afterthought... actually, more like: ingredient that I bought for this purpose, then forgot about and remembered at the last second)

Baked for 30 minutes at 425 F.

Throughout the course of the morning, I became curious about how to chop onions "correctly," and thus did some research. It's great that research now means Youtube searching. I came across a video that shows what is apparently the only way to do it correctly, but it lasted 10 minutes, so that was not going to happen. I like this one because the lady in it is so country and this is how I will be chopping onions until someone shows me a better way in under ten minutes:



After working, drove to central Illinois to visit some favorite people. Although I was proud of remembering to take a picture of the pepper, there were definitely no pictures of the night. A great time was had by all, though. Headed back up the next morning (while wanting to stay longer!) to work at my various jobs and ended up getting back home to relax at 10:30 PM or so. Awesome weekend; I feel so lucky to love my jobs and friends. Also have jobs in which the parents will often offer me cake and Sweet Mandy B's cupcakes.

all of these lines across my face tell the story of who i am

All the stitches are removed and all that remains is this bandage that I'm supposed to try to keep on "for cosmetic purposes." I'm getting ready for bed now, but it occurred to me that someday I might forget the week I walked around with a band-aid on my face (I'm talking those big, skin-toned ones) and finally had enough of it, peeled it off, and am left with these strips (week 2). And anyway, you can't just go around forgetting things like that. Hence, these pictures. I'm also supposed to be keeping it dry, but I sacrificed having a pristine face for playing with 8-year-old boys in the pool instead. Don't even kid yourself into thinking that you can stay dry with boys.

Tomorrow is a big day. I need to wake up, pack for my overnight trip, clean up around the house, then work. And then overnight trip, coming back home and working some more! Honestly? I love just about every minute of my jobs.

I'm obsessed. This is a woman.

What Worked in September

This is the last time I'm going to explicitly state it: I'm doing an awful job at blogging. Not only am I simply not finding the time in a day to blog, but I am blogging about cowls and jewelry? What? And I'm pretty sure I'm going to do it again about a different cowl and different jewelry? So it goes.

Here are the positive improvements I made in September:

-Used a Nalgene-esque water bottle. What are these things called? Anyway, re-usable. This was good because I could finally let go of the immense guilt that I felt from using plastic water bottles this summer. Haha, I felt it every day. Not only that, but there are little tick marks on the side so you can kind of keep track of how much water you drank. I say "you," because I didn't really count. Mine was more, did I finish all the water in the bottle or not? But I've gotten to the point that I can now drink two, easily. And on days I forget it, I feel dehydrated. I've only used a plastic water bottle once, and on that day, I still felt thirsty.

-The morning routine of getting up to sit on the porch and relax as a way of beginning the day. It was still one of the best things I did, until I couldn't get up so early anymore. I will be going to sleep earlier in order to wake up earlier.

-I started actually getting pretty addicted to swimming and the awesome hot showers that I took at the gym. The water in my apartment doesn't get hot enough for my liking. And then I had a cyst excised from my face and couldn't get it (my face? the cyst's remnant scar?) wet for this week. Next week, starting back up!

-I'm starting to get a routine in order. I have to recognize that no, my life will never be as perfectly structured as I'd like (well, secretly, it's not so much that I'd like it as the fact that I may need it), but I do need to work hard to make every day as much of a day as possible. That may mean spending more time at home to get things done, but we'll see.

-When I had fun, I had fun. When I worked, I worked hard.

-I accomplished goal #4.

I did ok on my September goals. I'm going to say that I started on all of them, except maybe the healthy eating one. Not good, that one.

Fall Fashion Love Letter

For some reason, I thought that I had saved a lot more pictures of examples of fall fashion that I love, but seeing as how I had not, this will probably end up being part one. First: gold jewelry. I used to love silver, but for the past few yeasr, I've been all about brass and gold. Especially gold. I love things that are "tough" and gold. Like the snake above, or beetles, geometric shapes. The exception of silver I love is a bracelet my friend brought me back from Egypt that clasps as an Ankh. It's a rusty silver and I adore it.
Cowls. I can't wait to knit one, maybe two. I think I'm going to use this yarn that I bought last year and used to make a hat. I can't take apart the hat anymore, even though it's way too big for my head, but there is plenty of leftover yarn, maybe enough to make a small cowl?

Interesting backs to shirts and dresses. Backs are sexy.
Rompers. I tried this one on (from Urban Outfitters) and it is fantastic. I didn't get it, but I do have two in my wardrobe.
I saw a knit sweater like this at a church rummage sale before I even saw this picture. I almost bought the sweater, until I talked myself out of it due to the realization of how absolutely ridiculous I looked swimming in this sweater.
That said, oversized sweaters and scarves. Oversized anything. Comfortable and chic.

Love geometry in fashion. But look at those shoes. I would die if I had those shoes. And then I would asked to be buried in them.
Aztec/Mayan/Indian prints of any kind. Tribal anything... I'm not discriminatory.

October Goals

My goal for October is to engage. To me, this means connecting with the people, community, and environment around me. October is a great month for getting out there because it's my favorite month- I love the weather and chill. It's a good time to enjoy the lovely city around me. Right now, I'm sick and have a huge band-aid on my face from a cyst removal, so it's not a good start, but you know! These things happen.

1. Enjoy Chicago. Specifically, I'm thinking about going to the Chicago Cultural Center and all the free music events that happen at the Pritzker Pavillion. Also, I need to continue my September goal of taking walks in different neighborhoods, which I did not do.

2. Do every fall tradition I can think of. Starting with today- I'm going apple picking for the first time. I'm also going to do pumpkins. And make apple- and pumpkin-related desserts. And hot chocolate and cider outside. And corn mazes.

3. Focus on friends. This is more for alliterative effect than anything... just kidding. I will try to plan things better with friends and write to my friends who are far, far away.

4. Disconnect the computer and phone. I'm going to have one day a week during which I don't turn on a computer at all. This is challenging because all my music is on it, but I think when I allow myself to be lazy and just turn on the computer, I read less, do other things less, and engage less. For the phone, I might need to have an hour a day during which I turn it to silent and don't worry about it at all. You know, for peace of mind and all.

5. Sign up for the classes I've been thinking about.

6. Work on a collaborative project or two.

7. Join an interest-group?

8. Read in my spare time. This is engaging in the world.

I think these goals are possibly manageable and will be challenging in a good way!

summer's last hurrah.

As someone in the industry of running kids' birthday parties, the majority of which are pool parties, I would almost consider it justifiable to purchase a swimsuit that is $185, except that I wouldn't, so long as my paychecks are barely capable of keeping me alive and sustained as a Very Poor Person.

Still, I love these swimsuits, as they are quite beautiful. And constant inspiration to work out.