what heights of love, what depths of peace

Reading my cute friend's post about knitting made me feel inspired to write down some of my thoughts. After an entire summer of only making a pair of mittens (and casually crocheting a blanket) when I was on the brink of boredom (histology studying), the appeal of it is coming back to me full force. It's the season, certainly. In the back of my mind as a Chicagoan, there's the impulse to urgently knit ourselves into the warmth so callously denied us by harsh winters, to protect ourselves from the frigid cold.

But also, there's a simultaneous sense of both focus and also an allowance for distraction. What you get out of it can be molded to fit what you need by working on different projects. My ritual for as many mornings as I could manage the past few weeks has been to knit on my 3rd floor porch while listening to music and sometimes drinking tea. The back of my building faces an alleyway, which in and of itself has led to witnessing some interesting things, as well as the back of a sushi restaurant and behind that, a very busy street. It's not always serene, but I've noticed that each morning has its own character, its ebbs and flows. Sometimes, I just knit. Sometimes, when I feel that my thoughts are haphazardly shooting all over the place or disturbing me (and this happens often), I count. I make myself count how many rows I've done and try to make it to ten without losing track. The other morning, it took me from rows 50-59 to 110-120 before I was able to count to 10. But I didn't push it and finally, it was okay.

I have started reflecting on my progress, but I realized that I still haven't achieved a routine that I can maintain and an extremely effective way of balancing everything. But I also remember that it's only really been a few weeks since I've started trying and after a lifetime of semi-apathetically attempting and failing to set a routine, a few weeks is not going to be wholly curative. I have found some important things that bring me peace this season: knitting, reading, swimming, and baking. For a few weeks, that's not so bad. October tomorrow!