i am feeling like getting out of the city and living in the mountains where i can ski all the time and live in a cabin.

a picture I took in Switzerland, 2009

photo by pruginko

And there should also be a lake for kayaking in the spring. I have a friend who took a kayaking class in college and it was really hard for him. He claims it was because his partner had a hard time getting back in the kayak when it flipped over. Uh, why did your kayak flip over? seems an obvious question. However, he did end up getting an A-, which he clarified for me when I was laughing about the C that I thought he got. In kayaking class. He also took a vampire class. It was a communications class, but we called it vampire class. He had a hard time with that too. I e-mailed him a daily vampire reference... for two days. It turns out that I don't come across vampires as often in my life as I had once thought.

(I couldn't remember the first one I sent, so I had to go back and search "Vampire" in my inbox. The response I received from my friend: "Hahaha. Keep em coming.")

thank you for your message, but I don't understand

december never felt so long; you're not where you belong, inside my arms

via whiskeysoaked

This is what I look like in the winter. Not. Maybe the blanket-esque shawl over the head. All the same, there's something I find extremely captivating about this woman. Sure, the picture looks pretty, but those of us who experience real climate changes know that a real winter? A real winter is not pretty. But she is determined. It seems spirited, haughty, and defiant of winter. I admire that in a woman, especially during the winter. (As long as she doesn't complain. We can forgive someone who can't walk in the shoes she decided to wear that day, but there's nothing worse than being subjected to listen to her own decision failures.)

Until then, the rest of us can sit inside with our Frango Cafe Collection Limited Edition Chocolates (Macy's). Mine was a much-needed, sweet gift that includes Coffee, Caramel Macchiato, and Marshmallow Hot Chocolate varieties in an attractively color-palatted box. And we can ponder how these images of winter are so incongruous with our actual experiences of it. (Actually, I love winter, usually. But that's for another post, another time.)

photo by photoriel

photo by visbeek

american style.

The following is a post by Cary Randolph via that kind of woman that I liked. I'll be back tomorrow :)
-------------------
American style is self-made. It’s borrowed. From your boyfriend, your ancestors, your favorite movie star. It’s a wool peacoat from the Army-Navy and the slinkiest stiletto heel. American style is rooted in history: for every Norwegian sweater turned out by L.L. Bean there is another tale about how it got here and was adopted and adapted by generations before ours. Slip on a silk evening gown and wear it with nothing but salty hair and a tan. This is a look that evolved from sport: tennis whites, rugby stripes. It’s seasonal: tartan in winter and linen in spring; but it’s also season-less: Levi’s 501s witha great white button-down in rain, snow, or shine.

A true connoisseur of American style is conscious of where her clothes originated. I think this is a new phenomenon that has developed from the menswear movement to modernize heritage brands. Filson, Gitman, Pendleton, Woolrich, the list goes on, and they all have something in common: they were made here. In your town, your state, your backyard. Yes, you’ll still be hard-pressed to find great women’s brands made in the States, but that is soon to change. Did you know that you can drive to the Schott factory in Elizabeth, New Jersey, and stand by each jacket as it rolls down the assembly line? I think this quality makes clothing so much more special. I think it makes clothing important.

American style is healthy and active. It is defined by entrepreneurs striking out on their own and then coming back together. One thing you’ll notice about the current heritage revival is the prevalence of collaborations between brands global and local. A quick glance at J.Crew’s In Good Company sub-site can prove the success of this strategy. But small brands join with other small brands and the effect is even more poignant; these are not companies working in vacuums. Consider it a sartorial democratic republic.

American style is iconic, and a single name can conjure incredible images of a shared history. Ali McGraw in Love Story. Katharine Hepburn in pleated trousers. Ralph Lauren’s barefaced beauties have worn our national wardrobe for decades, and each season Lauren turns out a collection completely different from the one before it. Yesterday’s gypsy becomes today’s cowgirl becomes tomorrow’s flapper. But it all has that same American-ness. It’s mythic, legendary, larger than life.

Let’s talk brass tacks: how do you work more Americana into your own closet? Start with the fundamentals: great jeans made in L.A., a men’s oxford from Pennsylvania, boots and coats born in Maine. Keep a clean palette, and fill your shelves with natural, durable materials. Make investments. Buy vintage. Be thrifty. Ask yourself, “Can I run in these shoes? How fast?” Watch Bonnie and Clyde: Faye Dunaway never looked so chic, and she did so while taking violent turns in her getaway car. Dress for moments like that. Dress for the elements. Our country is defined by its terrain: ranges and oceans, coast and plain, but it is also defined by the creativity and beauty of its citizens. Translate that rugged freedom into your canvas and chambray and suede. Who said you can’t have your sequins and climb the Rockies too?

you're so beautiful you could be a part-time model, but you'll probably still have to keep your other job...

... spend part of your time modeling and the rest of your time with me.

I'm not extremely familiar with a lot of the Flight of the Conchords, but from what I know, I'm always entertained. This song The Most Beautiful Girl is hilarious, in my opinion.

And if you're science-y, this parody is genius.


And on a completely separate note, I adore this song:

you don't need a man, you need a space heater.

a really, really good investment that will not cause you grief. today, my winter gear was accused of being insufficient. the ONE day i don't wear a cardigan, a fleece, a sweatshirt, and my winter jacket. so apparently, space heaters do cause overconfidence in one's ability to thermoregulate.

don't write, don't call, i'll see you in the fall

1. Every day, I'm all, I'm going to go to bed early! Or, I'm going to bed before midnight! Every. Single. Day. And every day, without fail, I go to bed around 2 AM. Even today, when I woke up early for breakfast (at Sweet Maple Cafe, for Chicagoans- Bonus: Their About page has a sentence that starts, "One October morning..."), had a marathon study session, did yoga*, played badminton, grabbed Chipotle on my way home. Here I am. 1:40 AM. Will try harder tomorrow.

2. I took 5 buses today. I kind of have been wondering what the average per day for me is. I'm going to keep track, for simple lack of better things to do.

3. This picture is a reminder of how I have not finished putting things up around my house yet, despite the fact that it has been 6 months. But that is the mantel above the fireplace and it is possibly the only thing I am satisfied in my place. More work will be done in the subsequent weeks.

*I accidentally found myself in the advanced yoga class, during which I found myself upside down, legs in the air and contorting a lot of things. It should be fun not to be able to feel anything tomorrow. No, seriously. I love the post-workout sore.

a Buddhist prayer

"May your enemies run far away from you. If you acquire riches, may they remain yours always.
Your beauty will be that of Apsara. Wherever you may go, many will attend, serve and protect you, surrounding you on all sides."

because i'm reading an excellent book right now.

winter fashion

The theme (in my mind) for winter fashion: pretty, vicious, tough, cool. I guess that's a general life theme too for my winter. I haven't bought any clothes in a long time, which I think is a good thing.

This dress.

So beautiful.Corduroy Leggings.
Love this look.
Foiled Lace Skirt
Sweater
Chiffon Dress:
Herringbone Vest.
I'm working on herringbone mittens right now, so I think I'm impartial to the herringbone.

and there's gold falling from the ceiling of this world, falling from the heartbeat of this girl

This morning, the wind woke me up. To me, that meant it would be necessary to wear a light sweater, a Snuggie rolled up (seriously), and a Columbia fleece under my winter jacket. I was very warm on top. Legs, not so much. It snowed all day and was quite beautiful out, particularly when I was inside the warm store, working. Three-year-olds warm my heart and good parents more so.

I worked all day and considered meeting up with my friend at a sports bar to watch the Bears game, but man, that weather was a very convincing argument to go home. I caught the end of a demoralizing game at home and proceeded to fall asleep for an hour. I thought about studying, but ended up sitting in a handknit sweater:

1) Knitting
2) Drinking tea that I bought when I was in New York last March
3) Trying very hard not to think too much
4) Listening to:



Despite the fact that there were moments during my commute (which involves walking to bus stops) when I couldn't help but say, "Am I alive right now?!", today was a good day. The perfect end to another rough week.

where i get my smile from

Hello loves. I sort of fell out of love with my blog. And the internet in general. And I would even say I fell a little out of love with myself. I know that they say (in a way that is truly annoying- which is not to say untrue) that "loving yourself" is important. I have yet to verify this. As in, loving yourself is beneficial, yes, but is it necessary? Then again, is it really necessary to be so compulsive about determining whether things are necessary? So there you have it. I am attempting to purge my life of the things that appalled me or made me feel weak in November.

Last week, I went to the first yoga class that I'd been to since the summer and it did wonders. It brought me back. Never mind that I am so obviously replacing all the inappropriate things in my life with more socially accepted substitutes :)

Here are some things I found today that are my definition of beautiful:

1. Morse Code Necklaces by Coatt. I think this is genius. A bracelet would be even more perfect (for me).

2. These paintings... I feel at peace. I love all of them, but these are my favorite.
Pretty canvas print.

3. Crumpled City maps. My idea of the way traveling should be done.


4. Bon Iver. Always. For some reason, my iTunes didn't recognize the songs on the CD when I put them on my computer. Manually typing them in (finally) was cathartic.
5. This reminds me of someone I adore too much:

6. These past few nights=talking to my brother, watching movies on his bed (okay, a movie. Singular. Yes, I am that person who does not have time for multiple movies), figuring it out. It's been crazy; I'm trying hard to slow down.

7. "If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Oh sure, it seems obvious now, but you’d be amazed at how many people don’t think of it when it’s relevant. Seriously, just punch them in the face and go get some ice cream." -Chuck Klosterman

how to be that annoying girl

I'm really good at it. In case you are too non-annoying, here is an idea. So it's 12:48 AM and you have this burning question. You pick up the phone and call this person who is not exactly a friend and whom, in fact, you are somewhat angry at (except that you don't have the ability to be mad for more than 10 minutes at anybody... a memory-related problem). Here is what you say to be pretty much as annoying as possible: "Yo, I was wondering... what exactly does Afro-Cuban Latin Jazz sound like?" The response might be, "You mean music?" And then, you can say, "Yeah, like can you describe it?"

To be extra annoying, after said person's description, respond, "Oh ok. I really didn't think you were going to be able to describe it! It's actually pretty impressive that you came up with something."

All in a day's work.

i feel like i'm just a source of amusement for you which i enjoy and am okay with, but...

text at 11:38 PM from rob: I'm walking my cat :)
text at 11:41 PM from jocelyn: Hahaha this is the sole reason we are friends despite the fact you keep telling me I am displaying symptoms of pregnancy.

personality test

Don't laugh. Yesterday, I took this Myers-Briggs personality test. And following a hunch, I made my brother take it. During October, it was one of my goals to engage better with the people around me. I found the difficulty to be nice to my brother rather alarming and throughout the past few weeks, I began to wonder whether there was a reason that I could absolutely not understand most of his motives and general way of going about life. It turns out that our personality types were quite the polar opposite.

I found out that my "personality type" is ENTJ- Extraverted, Intuition, Thinking, Judging. It's kind of interesting, and I will admit, oddly accurate.

According to the ENTJ Wikipedia Page:
"ENTJs focus on the most efficient and organized means of performing a task. This quality, along with their goal orientation, often makes ENTJs superior leaders, both realistic and visionary in implementing a long-term plan. ENTJs tend to be fiercely independent in their decision making, having a strong will that insulates them against external influence. Generally highly competent, ENTJs analyze and structure the world around them in a logical and rational way. Due to this straightforward way of thinking, ENTJs tend to have the greatest difficulty of all the types in applying subjective considerations and emotional values into the decision-making process."

My brother, on the other hand, was an ISTP Personality Type. For now, I'm just going to put it out there and think about the ramifications and ways that our personalities can be used to our advantages to achieve or connect/work with others.

famous before she was notorious

I recently realized that I don't spend enough time thinking about important things. Not things that involve school, science, work, what I'm going to eat for dinner, am I drinking enough water, how angry would my mom be if I got a cat, how much angrier my mom would be if I got a cat and then a tattoo, can I leave the country without my mom noticing, if I drink any more coffee than I am currently, will I explode, why did that group of guys tell me that I'm pretty and ask if I wanted to go smoke with them while I was waiting at the bus stop, etc.

But what about dreams? Somehow, the concept of dreaming has become so associated with being spacey and flaky, even cliche (Dream Big, blah, blah), but I'm beginning to wonder about the power of just big, insane ideas and really working them feasibly into my life. After all, insanity is a purely theoretical concept, I think. There was a point this summer when I was thinking of new ideas on a daily and weekly basis; I was surrounded by good-intentioned naysayers, but at the end of the day, those people wondering why you would want to do something or, more terrifying, telling you that you shouldn't will fade into the background and you remember. You remember yourself, somehow.

One of my favorite summer memories is from a concert when Glen Hasard of The Swell Season was talking about insane dreams and he dedicated the next song to the insane dreamers of the world. My friend Cherita looked at me and smiled. And one of my favorite quotes came from a book I read this summer, Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder regarding the project to bring healthcare to Haiti, "They think we're unrealistic. They don't know we're crazy."

My main goal for the last few weeks of November is to give myself time to come up with big ideas. I just wanted to share this picture that I took last year in Taiwan. I love how the body of the fish curls. And the picture reminds me of beautiful memories abroad and that I need to begin planning more!

on the edge of a moment, on a land that we love, in a time that our best has to be good enough

[Lovely dreamcatchers here]

Okay, new plan (I need a new plan pretty much every week): Never avoid doing something just because you're scared. Because one day you won't be scared and you will have not done something that you really wanted to do. But first, identify why the fear is there; then ignore if necessary or feasible.

an ode to the lovely downtown which may be growing on me again

I've seen this guy's paintings of other cities before, but I'm happy to see one of Chicago! I've been spending more time downtown these past few weeks and am starting to really love it again. So easy to fall out of lust with the tourist-esque elements of the city that you forget all the beautiful and historic parts of it too. The Loop is really beautiful this time of year.

fashions fade, style is eternal

Pretty jewelry that has been capturing my attention=reasons to save money. BrillianceFound: I especially love the 9 Ring, but the arrow is fantastic too. The feather ring is interesting because it seems like it's just a feather that serendipitously dropped onto your hand.

Laura Lombardi, a Chicago jewelry maker. These pieces are quite perfect.

What Worked in October

I dropped the ball on my November goals. As in, I didn't come up with any. I just didn't. October was good. I didn't accomplish all my goals, and in fact, I don't know that I accomplished most of them specifically, and I'm okay with that. Three awesome things happened in October:

1. I found a routine that will work for me. In this way, I could balance two jobs, studying, working out, and friends. I can make the routine even better so that I am studying more these next two months, and that will be the plan for November. Also, I think I need to find some alone time. I was talking with one of my co-workers in the kitchen who was upset that he didn't have enough time to himself- only 5 hours. Although I'm surprised that he needs five hours to himself, it made me realize that it probably is important to make time for such things as... yourself.

2. I can't really remember the second awesome thing, which is somewhat horrifying.

3. I quit men. Casual dating is fun, but also makes you a little crazier (and pressed for time) than you really need to be. I also considered going on a coffee sabbatical, but really, how many things that you love can you just give up like that?

So now, What Worked in October. In general, I do think that my goal to engage with my surroundings was successful. My goals were to:

1. Enjoy Chicago. I actually could not find events at the Pritzker Pavillion, which was weird. But I definitely could have gone to the Chicago Cultural Center, which I did not do. I enjoyed Chicago in other ways (i.e., bars and clubs haha); unfortunately (or fortunately), I have never been good at being a tourist.

2. Fall traditions. I made pumpkin pie, went apple picking, watched football at sports bars, and drank a lot of coffee. Although coffee is more of an all-seasonal/life tradition, it counts. I still have to make apple pie with the apples that are now probably rotten at this point. And I have more pumpkins that need to be made into more pumpkin pie.

3. Focus on friends (and brother). I'm happy with this. I got to see some of my friends that don't live in Chicago and I've really been staying connected on the phone. Making new friends, blah blah, etc.

4. Disconnect with the computer and phone. I did okay at this. I really was able to step away from Facebook, which was my main goal. I talked about how technology is problematic in some ways, but I do also think that there is a lot of inspiration out there and I'm not opposed to that.

5. Sign up for classes I have been thinking about. Executive life decision that I should not be signing up for more classes at the time being but come February, I will.

6. Work on a collaborative project. In the works, kind of.

7. Join an interest group. This didn't work out because on Thursday nights, I usually end up doing something else, which goes in direct conflict with the whole group thing. I may try again in November, but thus far, this Thursday and the one in the past are not working out for me.

8. Read in my spare time. Ok, but need to read more. I've been reading On the Road possibly for the entire month, I am not sure.

easy pimpin

Today, I was proposed to in a bar, down on one knee and everything sort of affair, because I declared that I like football more than I like men. And also, proved that my hands are more steady than someone who claims he's an orthodontist, but actually looks like a sales associate at Best Buy.

a question, followed by an answer

One of the questions that I get the most about this blog is: Why are you not talking about relationships and men?

And to give you an idea of the frequency that this question is asked of me, I will explain. It is asked by one person. Every time I call her from the Blue Line stop at 9:30 PM. Which was last week. And tonight. And also maybe the week before. (It turns out that my blog does not lend itself to much questioning, which I find puzzling, considering the high quality of all its contents that cannot help but arouse stimulating questions). Her name is Eileen and I believe her exact wording is, "I don't care about fashion or your other thoughts... I just want to hear about who you are dating!"

So here's the plan. I will never post about relationships here. Simply, I recognize it's a bad idea. And I can rarely recognize bad ideas before they come to fruition and destroy my entire life (exaggeration). So I figure, if I can see now that I should not post about this, then I probably shouldn't. And I know that just because my Internet search skills can be described as lackluster at best, most people are much more talented.

And plus, then how could we pave the way for a relationship blog collaborative project?

elicited birdlike phrases and architectural Miles Davis logics

Love this.

And this following video may or may not be the story of my life. I love the lines:
"Why is he suturing his own face?"
"To turn me on."


Things I am pondering:
1. Trying really hard to figure out how a situation could be interpreted as "socialist" so that I don't have to think that someone is dumb and doesn't understand the concept of socialism. Because I really don't want to have to go around thinking people are dumb. I'm not down with that.

2. Wondering if I sprained my ankle falling off a curb in broad daylight while looking for a bus to go to work. Wondering if it was okay that I decided to just keep walking on it.

3. Neal Cassady/Dean Moriarty in On the Road. I'm almost done with it. Uncanny coincidences (are coincidences inherently uncanny?).

And that's it. I'm thinking about three things. Only. (Right.)

faces

Love these stunning photos of beautiful faces by Alessandro Villa.

no rules, just live life

Middle picture from here.

There are no pictures from this weekend, as most weekends go. Although I do wish I had a smaller camera to take around, I also can recognize that most of the time, it's a good thing for things to live on in memory, or pieced together with the combined memory of another friend. I ended up really running out of time to put together a costume, so although I was going for the top picture, it ended up being more like the bottom one (aka dressed pretty much as myself).
So much fun with some of my best friends three separate nights spaced in between working. There was sexy casual night, band night (amazing watching the friend who has serenaded you to sleep on the couch with his guitar play on a bigger stage), and picking up the bartenders afternoon. Too many stories. The way it should be, no?

these smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun.

These are the things I loved from last week.

1. Baby Blanket from The Purl Bee that I am totally going to make as a "Damn, my apartment is really cold" blanket for the winter. Love the cool graphic-looking color schemes.

2. Typographic Map. You know how I love my typography and Chicago maps.

3. Another really cool Squishy Log Cabin Blanket from The Purl Bee.



4. This cool photo by Garry.


5. Cute rooms:

bitsandbobbins

recovering lazyholic
Love books in general, but really love travel books.

6. When done right, tattoos can be so beautiful.


7. This poncho. I'm still into oversized things, and I'm getting into ponchos. Why am I weird?


8.
Broken sky mirror,
blue-shadowed snow,
June is far now,

hold while you can; show
bare of branch
stark of stalk:

ache us to know.

- Winter Vocative by William Bronk

9. These images, some of my Flickr favorites. Click on photo to be taken to the photographer's Flickr.

10. Gray nailpolish. I fell in love. I'm keeping it forever.

My friend lent this OPI "You Don't Know Jacques" It's sort of like subdued black.