Dear Old Love

Last week, I read a book Dear Old Love, a collection of notes written by people to people they used to love, or like- the ones who got away. There are more notes posted on the blog. Here are some of the ones I liked:

I'm so glad it didn't work out the way I wanted it to.

Mother told me, "Don't buy the first coat you try on." So I broke up with you. But in retrospect, I think she was talking about coats. Sorry.

Yes, we had good sex. I have god sex with everyone. That's me.

When I play air guitar, you're my air audience.

I never tired of looking at you over the tops of menus.

If all I cared about was producing a genetic masterpiece, I would've stayed with you.

Even though we broke up five years ago, I still rate the way I feel about someone new on a scale that goes from Zero to You.

I could live in the same small town my whole life if you were there, too.

You are a gigantic ass. And not the good kind of gigantic ass, like my ass.

I keep trying to get my hair back to exactly the way it was when you loved me.

I hope you didn't go through those hair-removal procedures for me. I like my women mammals.

Every time I drove you home, I prayed for traffic.

I'm over you like Batman is over losing his parents.

Tank tops, on your figure, were truly an implement of war.

I want to save the world just so you can't be the one to do it.

I've got a lot going on, but it's still really hard pretending I don't love you.

Even in this retirement village, I can't retire thoughts of waltzing with you.

I finally found someone who doesn't mind if I wake them up to say goodbye in the morning.
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These are my favorite:

I'll always be jealous of whoever is with you. And I'm talking all the way to the one pushing you in a wheelchair down the dewy lawn of your old folks' home.

You have no idea how hard I root for you.

You signed my ninth grade yearbook, "We could've used a girl like you at the Alamo." I've had a thing for you ever sense.
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Somewhat relatedly, I love this scene from When a Man Loves a Woman.